A quick update on Day Eight:
I went driving over the bridge this morning and further down the highway than I've been in over a year. I did a test drive with a fellow superhero last night and felt crazy nervous. This morning, though, I think that attitude of willing to feel anxious helped a great deal. I was also really inspired by my friend who got on the highway last night after not doing so for 10 years. If you were on the road you might have seen our superhero capes flying!
Tonight, I had been invited to attend a financial book group and I only knew one of the women. Standing at the sink washing dishes, I thought about not going because I was tired, it was late and, really, hadn't I already done my anxiety work today? That's the thing about putting your goals out in the open, I felt like if I was going to do this challenge, I really had to go for it. So, off into the cold night I went and had a really nice time.
I don't want to jinx anything, but I'm starting to feel a little more like myself and the din of anxiety radio is beginning to weaken.
Showing posts with label super hero. Show all posts
Showing posts with label super hero. Show all posts
Monday, January 11, 2010
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Travelogue Part One - Getting on the plane
Friday night before the big vacation takeoff:
I am feeling excited, shopping for last minute beach towels & sunscreen, packing into the wee hours of the morning. I write little notes for my girls and fight the urge to say things like, "If we don't make it home, I want you to know. . ." and fill up their journals with memories and dreams for their futures.
I crawl into bed & the anxiety steps things up a bit. Adrenaline becomes my bedmate & I know I'm not going to get much sleep. I remind myself that this is to be expected. I expect to sleep terribly and feel anxious, even panicky. I haven't flown in almost 3 years & I'm leaving my children behind for a week - something I've never done before. Next to my bed is a pad of paper for notes & I write down, "I want this anxiety" - just in case I forget when the alarm goes off. I snuggle up to my man & try to ride the waves while he snoozes with ease. Thank God only one of us runs anxious!
Saturday morning - 4:30am:
I wake up with a real sense of dread. I feel nauseous & panicky. I look down at my "I want this anxiety" note with a smiley face & say "screw that - what a stupid thing to write"! In the shower, I'm weepy and yell out to my husband, "I changed my mind. I don't want to go. I just want to stay home. I feel terrible."
It's so hard in that moment to believe all those coping statements and truths - that flying is much safer than driving; panic always goes away with time; panic & anxiety are uncomfortable, but not dangerous; it's very likely that I'll be able to relax into the flight once we get going & if not, I will survive.
The first step is making it out the door. Then, driving to the airport where I take .25 mg of xanax & review my options - "If we get to our first connection & I feel terrible, we can always come home, right?" Walking into the airport feels familiar - it's been a while, but I've done this before. After going through the security lines & randomly having my shoes checked (are my Keens too stinky? I ask) I rush over to the gate attendant, tell her about my flying fear & ask for seats closer to the front. At first she says that the plane is full, but at the last minute I am called up to the desk & the lovely Miss Tina from Delta changes our seating to bulk head. I think I love her.
As they call our flight to begin boarding, Steve & I wait & I take another .25mg. The funny thing about many anxiety superheroes & meds is that we're actually a little afraid of taking them. From the extremes of -- "What if it's too much & I stop breathing?" to "What if I take it & it doesn't work?"
Finally we take make our way through the line and warm tears roll down my face as we board the plane. As we buckle up and they seal the doors, I close my eyes and remember where we're going.
More to come:
*Travelogue Part Two: In flight adventures
*Travelogue Part Three: Island Mama
I am feeling excited, shopping for last minute beach towels & sunscreen, packing into the wee hours of the morning. I write little notes for my girls and fight the urge to say things like, "If we don't make it home, I want you to know. . ." and fill up their journals with memories and dreams for their futures.
I crawl into bed & the anxiety steps things up a bit. Adrenaline becomes my bedmate & I know I'm not going to get much sleep. I remind myself that this is to be expected. I expect to sleep terribly and feel anxious, even panicky. I haven't flown in almost 3 years & I'm leaving my children behind for a week - something I've never done before. Next to my bed is a pad of paper for notes & I write down, "I want this anxiety" - just in case I forget when the alarm goes off. I snuggle up to my man & try to ride the waves while he snoozes with ease. Thank God only one of us runs anxious!
Saturday morning - 4:30am:
I wake up with a real sense of dread. I feel nauseous & panicky. I look down at my "I want this anxiety" note with a smiley face & say "screw that - what a stupid thing to write"! In the shower, I'm weepy and yell out to my husband, "I changed my mind. I don't want to go. I just want to stay home. I feel terrible."
It's so hard in that moment to believe all those coping statements and truths - that flying is much safer than driving; panic always goes away with time; panic & anxiety are uncomfortable, but not dangerous; it's very likely that I'll be able to relax into the flight once we get going & if not, I will survive.
The first step is making it out the door. Then, driving to the airport where I take .25 mg of xanax & review my options - "If we get to our first connection & I feel terrible, we can always come home, right?" Walking into the airport feels familiar - it's been a while, but I've done this before. After going through the security lines & randomly having my shoes checked (are my Keens too stinky? I ask) I rush over to the gate attendant, tell her about my flying fear & ask for seats closer to the front. At first she says that the plane is full, but at the last minute I am called up to the desk & the lovely Miss Tina from Delta changes our seating to bulk head. I think I love her.
As they call our flight to begin boarding, Steve & I wait & I take another .25mg. The funny thing about many anxiety superheroes & meds is that we're actually a little afraid of taking them. From the extremes of -- "What if it's too much & I stop breathing?" to "What if I take it & it doesn't work?"
Finally we take make our way through the line and warm tears roll down my face as we board the plane. As we buckle up and they seal the doors, I close my eyes and remember where we're going.
More to come:
*Travelogue Part Two: In flight adventures
*Travelogue Part Three: Island Mama
Monday, May 4, 2009
Coping with matters out of our control
Here's a comment I received a few days ago & the impetus for this current post:
"I would love for you to do a post on the swine flu and how to handle anxiety symptoms related to something that's so out of a person's control. I'm having difficulty with it, with the situation in and of itself, but it also brings up symptoms related to the general fear that I've got no control over the future."
What's an anxiety super hero to do when the world feels out of control and scary and it seems like there's nothing you can do to protect yourself? And, I don't mean all the scary scenario's we regularly create in our brains - rather, things like terrorism, global warming and the swine flu.
I remember hearing about the avian flu a few years back and feeling terrified. Every time I turned on the news, there was another frightening report of how it would spread to a pandemic level. Newspapers printed full page stories about supplies you should have at home in case we all had to be quarantined. Picking up my children from pre-school, the avian flu was a hot topic among parents & many of us felt afraid. My husband & I talked about what we would do if a pandemic were to occur, thinking through how we could keep our family safe. (There's still a box of unwrapped, protective masks in our basement.)
So what can we do when life feels out of our control? How can we take smart precautions without going off the deep end and building a bomb shelter in the backyard - just in case? How do we sort out the necessary information from the fear messaging so prevalent in our world, threatening to limit and suck the joy out of our lives?
Here's what I do & some links that I find helpful:
*I greatly limit the amount & type of news I take in. Dr. Andrew Weil writes about going on a news diet in his book 8 Weeks to Optimum Health & I take it to heart!
*When something comes up that's bothering me, I might freak out a little bit first, to be honest. After I'm done with that, I find a trusted source or two & go to it for information. If I find myself anxiously surfing the web for every little article - any piece of information that might help me protect myself & my family - I recognize that for what it is - a symptom of anxiety. When anxiety arises, you know what to do - check out this & this. Scheduling a worry time each day also helps to decrease that feeling of constant worry weaving through your thoughts day & night.
*I try to plan and take control of what I can. With the swine flu, I talked to my kids last night at the dinner table (in age appropriate terms) and reminded them how important it is to wash their hands before eating, after going to the bathroom, when the come home from school, etc. It's such an easy, but extremely effective tool for keeping healthy. My husband & I have gone through what steps we could take if this flu became pandemic. Looking fears in the face & finding potential solutions can feel very liberating.
*I try to keep up with the basics -- exercise, a good night's sleep (I'm not so good there), & a healthy diet.
*Meditation, prayer/spirituality, progressive muscle relaxation, & yoga are all essential tools.
*And, finally, it's easy to take a healthy dose of humor each day when you live with a toddler. I try to laugh with my family, cuddle them up & be as present as I can when I'm with them. Life feels like it's going so quickly & I don't want to waste their growing up time preparing anxiouly for the "what if's".
I hope that helped as you strive for a balanced response to the craziness in the world. I'd love to hear from readers what works for you, too!
"I would love for you to do a post on the swine flu and how to handle anxiety symptoms related to something that's so out of a person's control. I'm having difficulty with it, with the situation in and of itself, but it also brings up symptoms related to the general fear that I've got no control over the future."
What's an anxiety super hero to do when the world feels out of control and scary and it seems like there's nothing you can do to protect yourself? And, I don't mean all the scary scenario's we regularly create in our brains - rather, things like terrorism, global warming and the swine flu.
I remember hearing about the avian flu a few years back and feeling terrified. Every time I turned on the news, there was another frightening report of how it would spread to a pandemic level. Newspapers printed full page stories about supplies you should have at home in case we all had to be quarantined. Picking up my children from pre-school, the avian flu was a hot topic among parents & many of us felt afraid. My husband & I talked about what we would do if a pandemic were to occur, thinking through how we could keep our family safe. (There's still a box of unwrapped, protective masks in our basement.)
So what can we do when life feels out of our control? How can we take smart precautions without going off the deep end and building a bomb shelter in the backyard - just in case? How do we sort out the necessary information from the fear messaging so prevalent in our world, threatening to limit and suck the joy out of our lives?
Here's what I do & some links that I find helpful:
*I greatly limit the amount & type of news I take in. Dr. Andrew Weil writes about going on a news diet in his book 8 Weeks to Optimum Health & I take it to heart!
*When something comes up that's bothering me, I might freak out a little bit first, to be honest. After I'm done with that, I find a trusted source or two & go to it for information. If I find myself anxiously surfing the web for every little article - any piece of information that might help me protect myself & my family - I recognize that for what it is - a symptom of anxiety. When anxiety arises, you know what to do - check out this & this. Scheduling a worry time each day also helps to decrease that feeling of constant worry weaving through your thoughts day & night.
*I try to plan and take control of what I can. With the swine flu, I talked to my kids last night at the dinner table (in age appropriate terms) and reminded them how important it is to wash their hands before eating, after going to the bathroom, when the come home from school, etc. It's such an easy, but extremely effective tool for keeping healthy. My husband & I have gone through what steps we could take if this flu became pandemic. Looking fears in the face & finding potential solutions can feel very liberating.
*I try to keep up with the basics -- exercise, a good night's sleep (I'm not so good there), & a healthy diet.
*Meditation, prayer/spirituality, progressive muscle relaxation, & yoga are all essential tools.
*And, finally, it's easy to take a healthy dose of humor each day when you live with a toddler. I try to laugh with my family, cuddle them up & be as present as I can when I'm with them. Life feels like it's going so quickly & I don't want to waste their growing up time preparing anxiouly for the "what if's".
I hope that helped as you strive for a balanced response to the craziness in the world. I'd love to hear from readers what works for you, too!
Friday, July 25, 2008
Super Powers
Are you an anxiety super hero? Sometimes we need to appreciate some of the super qualities that may increase our anxiety, but also make us compassionate human beings.
*Empathy – Are you someone who can walk into a room filled with people and instantly feel everyone else’s emotions? Without talking, can you intuit who’s struggling inside?
*Intuition: Do you consistently get gut feelings about things that usually end up spot on?
*Cat-like reflexes: Fight or flight? No problem. Burning building? You’d be the first one out with someone on your back.
*Courage: Do you regularly choose to practice with intense feelings of anxiety in an effort to accept, surrender and allow anxiety to loosen it’s grip?
*Humor – Do you have the ability to laugh at yourself and find the humor in absurd fears?
*Empathy – Are you someone who can walk into a room filled with people and instantly feel everyone else’s emotions? Without talking, can you intuit who’s struggling inside?
*Intuition: Do you consistently get gut feelings about things that usually end up spot on?
*Cat-like reflexes: Fight or flight? No problem. Burning building? You’d be the first one out with someone on your back.
*Courage: Do you regularly choose to practice with intense feelings of anxiety in an effort to accept, surrender and allow anxiety to loosen it’s grip?
*Humor – Do you have the ability to laugh at yourself and find the humor in absurd fears?
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Two great resources
If you're an anxiety super hero (or just love one - and really, what's not to love) I encourage you to check out these two websites.
anxieties.com
This is R. Reid Wilson's site (author of "Don't Panic"). I would recommend first signing up for his "Free Anxieties Update & E-zine". You'll receive great information & the article that accompanies your first message is fantastic -- "The Anxiety Disorders Game". If you're a therapist, this article has fantastic ideas that might inspire your treatment groups. If you're a client (or maybe wear both hats), I love the message about approaching anxiety with a welcoming attitude. It's worth the time, I promise.
Reid Wilson also has a thorough "free self help" section (scroll down menu's). I especially like the sections on use of paradox & attitude. His center is in North Carolina & you can sign up for one of his weekend treatment groups - one for Panic disorder and one for OCD.
anxietycoach.com
This site belongs to Dave Carbonell & is my other favorite anxiety site. I first found out about Dr. Carbonell when I read an article he wrote called "Float or Swim". I instantly liked his style & felt like he knew something about anxiety that I needed to know. I poured through his website, which has fantastic, very readable articles and even bought his workbook called, "Panic Attacks Workbook - a guided program for beating the panic trick". This workbook, along with a KD Edstrom CD helped me fly to from coast to coast by myself (without drugs because I was pregnant. I did warn my seatmates that I might cry the entire flight & made friends with a spanish speaking nun, but I actually felt great once we got up in the air!) But I digress.
Check out the section called "Panic Disorder & Agoraphobia". Also, he has an archive of articles which is hard to find on the site, but here's the link. Great writing, nice laid back style. I once saw him work with an anxious flyer on a TV talk show. He was sitting next to the anxious woman and as the plane took off she began getting visibly nervous & started to cry. He was like a midwife - he validated & supported her and said something like, "Hmmm. I guess that had to happen." No big deal. He clearly wasn't taken aback by her panic or worried about her running amok on the plane. I frequently think about what he said & the calming, normalizing message of his body language. If you live in Chicago, he has an anxiety treatment center - Or, you can contact him for phone consultations individually or as part of a workbook study group.
What other sites have you found to be helpful?
anxieties.com
This is R. Reid Wilson's site (author of "Don't Panic"). I would recommend first signing up for his "Free Anxieties Update & E-zine". You'll receive great information & the article that accompanies your first message is fantastic -- "The Anxiety Disorders Game". If you're a therapist, this article has fantastic ideas that might inspire your treatment groups. If you're a client (or maybe wear both hats), I love the message about approaching anxiety with a welcoming attitude. It's worth the time, I promise.
Reid Wilson also has a thorough "free self help" section (scroll down menu's). I especially like the sections on use of paradox & attitude. His center is in North Carolina & you can sign up for one of his weekend treatment groups - one for Panic disorder and one for OCD.
anxietycoach.com
This site belongs to Dave Carbonell & is my other favorite anxiety site. I first found out about Dr. Carbonell when I read an article he wrote called "Float or Swim". I instantly liked his style & felt like he knew something about anxiety that I needed to know. I poured through his website, which has fantastic, very readable articles and even bought his workbook called, "Panic Attacks Workbook - a guided program for beating the panic trick". This workbook, along with a KD Edstrom CD helped me fly to from coast to coast by myself (without drugs because I was pregnant. I did warn my seatmates that I might cry the entire flight & made friends with a spanish speaking nun, but I actually felt great once we got up in the air!) But I digress.
Check out the section called "Panic Disorder & Agoraphobia". Also, he has an archive of articles which is hard to find on the site, but here's the link. Great writing, nice laid back style. I once saw him work with an anxious flyer on a TV talk show. He was sitting next to the anxious woman and as the plane took off she began getting visibly nervous & started to cry. He was like a midwife - he validated & supported her and said something like, "Hmmm. I guess that had to happen." No big deal. He clearly wasn't taken aback by her panic or worried about her running amok on the plane. I frequently think about what he said & the calming, normalizing message of his body language. If you live in Chicago, he has an anxiety treatment center - Or, you can contact him for phone consultations individually or as part of a workbook study group.
What other sites have you found to be helpful?
Monday, June 30, 2008
Why Anxiety Girl?
A few years ago I was hanging out with my sister in law Hilleary at a bridal shower. We’re notorious for scoping out the dessert table and behaving badly at “formal” family functions – making raunchy jokes in the back of the pack; laughing out loud at inappropriate times.
Hilleary also wrestles with anxiety and has a great sense of humor.
So, there we were nibbling anything we could get our hands on and talking about feeling claustrophobic. You know how showers can get – too many people shoe-horned into a small space, oohing and aahing over houseware products, going on for hours on end. As much as we adored the hostess, we were just over it.
Noticing a sliding glass door, we had the following conversation.
“Oh my God, I’m so ready to go home. You think we can just sneak out the back door?”
“Well, if I was a super hero, I would fly right through that glass door and get out of here!”
“Yeah, how about an anxiety super hero!”
“Able to flee social situations in a single bound!”
Over the years, I’ve had lots of fun visuals of Anxiety Girl fleeing social situations in a single bound; running away at lightening speed from speaking engagements; using her super powers to transport herself to California instead of flying in an airplane.
Of course, Anxiety Girl’s real power comes from staying in the feared situation. Her real courage is in feeling the wave of fear build up – feeling the dread that something very wrong is about to happen – and, despite her worries, diving head first into the swell and floating on the other side. Avoidance is her kryptonite and exposure breaks those chains.
Hilleary also wrestles with anxiety and has a great sense of humor.
So, there we were nibbling anything we could get our hands on and talking about feeling claustrophobic. You know how showers can get – too many people shoe-horned into a small space, oohing and aahing over houseware products, going on for hours on end. As much as we adored the hostess, we were just over it.
Noticing a sliding glass door, we had the following conversation.
“Oh my God, I’m so ready to go home. You think we can just sneak out the back door?”
“Well, if I was a super hero, I would fly right through that glass door and get out of here!”
“Yeah, how about an anxiety super hero!”
“Able to flee social situations in a single bound!”
Over the years, I’ve had lots of fun visuals of Anxiety Girl fleeing social situations in a single bound; running away at lightening speed from speaking engagements; using her super powers to transport herself to California instead of flying in an airplane.
Of course, Anxiety Girl’s real power comes from staying in the feared situation. Her real courage is in feeling the wave of fear build up – feeling the dread that something very wrong is about to happen – and, despite her worries, diving head first into the swell and floating on the other side. Avoidance is her kryptonite and exposure breaks those chains.
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