A quick update on Day Eight:
I went driving over the bridge this morning and further down the highway than I've been in over a year. I did a test drive with a fellow superhero last night and felt crazy nervous. This morning, though, I think that attitude of willing to feel anxious helped a great deal. I was also really inspired by my friend who got on the highway last night after not doing so for 10 years. If you were on the road you might have seen our superhero capes flying!
Tonight, I had been invited to attend a financial book group and I only knew one of the women. Standing at the sink washing dishes, I thought about not going because I was tired, it was late and, really, hadn't I already done my anxiety work today? That's the thing about putting your goals out in the open, I felt like if I was going to do this challenge, I really had to go for it. So, off into the cold night I went and had a really nice time.
I don't want to jinx anything, but I'm starting to feel a little more like myself and the din of anxiety radio is beginning to weaken.
8 comments:
Hi Anxiety Girl, I have only just found your blog thanks to a link at Anxiety Guru. I love it, I love what you are doing. I am joining you on the challenge as I have been going through a really, really rough patch since September with my G.A.D. It's funny, but I envy you for having (what I perceive) as a manageable anxiety provoking event, something that you can physically face up to and involve your family and friends in. My fears are more in my imagination and have to do with my fear of being a failure. I know it is the same mechanism that gives you your fear of crossing bridges, I can tell when you talk about it that I do the same thing when I think about failing at work or in my marriage. I am trying to set myself up for exposure and a lot of it has to happen in my mind, allowing myself to THINK the word "Divorce", for example, is a way of desensitizing myself. Anyway I could go on and on, all I want to say is thank you for writing this blog and I am so glad I found it. I am following your relaxation techniques and I tried for the first time today the "10 minute" worry period.
Hey Lindsay,
Welcome! I hear what you're saying about the imagination running wild. And, it seems like anything that can create adrenaline can become the next anxious obsession. The driving/bridge piece is the easiest to go after, but I also have some anxiety that pops up in social situations (b/c I don't want it to) and cognitively with scary thoughts.
You're going after it the way I would -- taking time each day to allow yourself to think those thoughts (what if I fail at work - what if my marriage fails - what if I have to get a divorce, etc.). Let me know how it goes. I've found that when I really sit down for 10 - 15 minutes (or longer) and repeat my charged thoughts (in your head or out loud )over and over and over again, it slowly begins to get boring & I want to quit. But, stick with it and keep repeating the most charged worries and see what happens in even a few days/weeks time. I'd love to hear how it goes! Have you seen this link (same website), too: http://anxieties.com/panic-step8b3.php
It's your old man checking in. Way to go, daughter. What a great day of successes you had. Thinking about you every day.
Love,
Dad
Thanks Dad! Love you!
Thanks for the advice and encouragement, and the link. I found this weekend I was totally resisting the thought and trying to block it, which just made it stronger. I have been liking the 10 minute worry period. Your Dad sounds supportive like mine!
Hey Lindsay,
Nice to hear from you! So, what happens when you do the worry period? Does it feel so intense that you begin resisting? Sometimes you can begin with a few minutes and work your way up. A couple of thoughts: look at that link & read over anxiety as a signal vs. noise. I like how Dr. Wilson looks at both: he starts by saying that anything worth worrying about is worth taking the time to problem solve -- is there anything I should realistically be doing to improve either work or marriage? And, if it's just noise/anxiety, then really working on the worry periods, desensitizing to the thoughts & resulting sensations. Do you let your husband in on your fears and allow him to support you? I'm glad your Dad is supportive, too! It makes such a big difference. A good therapist can be great, too - my 2 cents is to look for someone who is up on the latest research & anxiety is really their thing.
Take care & know you're not alone!
Hi again,
Actually my first worry period I was frustrated because I could have continued way past 10 minutes. Then, it started to get harder to fill the 10 minutes and I was finding that I was actually getting a lot of positive thoughts butting in, contradicting the worries, which normally doesn't happen. My husband is very much in on my anxieties and is super supportive. I really enjoyed the article about signal versus noise. The signal, I think is that 1) I am home sick (moved across the country to be with hubby) and 2) that I need to regain my independence (when anxiety hits hard I start to rely on him for everything). These are two things I can and am working on: I skype with family back home daily and even ADMITTED that I missed home which was hard. As for independence, I am getting out more often on my own and have signed up for Yoga and Water Colour Painting- eek social things! The noise is the catastophizing... oh and my catastrophes can feel so real as I am sure they do for you. Going beyond feeling homesick, what if I get so homesick we have to divorce? Well we've already discussed moving to my hometown and it is always an option. I'm just about to instigate a worry session, so, here I go!
Hi Lindsay,
That all makes total sense! It's got to be hard being so far away from your family & missing them so much, even if you are excited to be starting a life with your man. It sounds like you're doing awesome work! That catastrophizing seems so real, doesn't it? I have to work with that one a bunch. I'd love to hear about how the worry periods continue to go and your art & yoga class - how fun! Take good care of yourself!
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