Monday, March 29, 2010

Musings on a cure

I've been thinking about Meredith's comment from a few weeks ago. She and I have talked back and forth about that stubborn, last little bit of anxiety that doesn't want to go away and looking for a cure that doesn't seem to exist.

I'm realizing and working on growing more comfortable with the fact that I may experience more anxiety than I would like to in my lifetime. This will probably be my challenge until I'm an old lady; that there may be no cure, but there is freedom in living a big life not run by fear and avoidance. There is also freedom in accepting all of our emotional states. Later in life, Dr. Claire Weekes was asked if she still experienced anxiety and panic and she responded, 'yes, but so what!'

My deep learning continues to be the lessons of showing up, experience and compassion. Every time I dread and anticipate an event - certain that I'll go crazy and make a fool of myself - and show up anyways, I get stronger. Every time I allow myself to feel anxious and not demand that it goes away, it feels a little more manageable. And, every time I am compassionate with myself when I do go down that anxiety rabbit hole and not make it such a big deal in my head, I worry less about having this thing forever.

So, a cure for anxiety and panic? Perhaps not. But freedom is certainly available in every choice we make.

*For further reading, check out Aimee's post on recovering from social anxiety.

1 comment:

Wolf Gurl said...

"Accepting all of our emotional states" - that is a really difficult thing for me at this point in my life. I got off effexor in November and by January all of my emotions were so much more tangible than they had been the whole time I was on effexor (which was 5 years). I could not deal! And now I am on the search for a new medication and strategies to feel better again. It's so tough! Thank you for your encouraging words. It does make things a little bit easier. I also have a blog now, so check it out when you have a minute.