Monday, August 18, 2008

Tunnel Vision

We were on vacation at the beach last week & I wanted to share a moment from the journey.

To get to the beach, our route takes us over a handful of bridges and a tunnel that goes underwater. I could have easily gotten my husband to drive, but I knew that I needed to "stir up trouble" for myself & this was a good opportunity to do so. "You driving today?" he asked. "Yeah" I responded & smiled, "No problem." Of course, it's easy to be brave when the offending bridges & tunnel are not in view.

As we approached the bridge/tunnel/bridge area, I started questioning why I was doing this, when a perfectly good, non-anxious driver was sitting next to me. I had to keep reminding myself to invite the symptoms - to try & make them stronger - to ask them to stay around - because, all of a sudden, I really didn't want to be driving & thought, 'Make them stronger? Are you crazy?'

As I descended into the tunnel, I started wondering how strong the walls were & musing about how this is really an unnatural thing to do - driving underwater and such. Before I knew it, the visual images were rolling in of water crashing in all around us as the light from the exit faded into darkness & I wanted to slam down the gas pedal and get out of there quick!

My 8 year old daughter must have known that I needed a reminder to invite in more sensation. Just as we were about half way through, she chimed in and asked, "Do these tunnels ever flood? What would happen if they did? Would we all drown?" My husband & I smiled at each other & her impeccable timing. We told her that, yes, it would be bad if the tunnel flooded, but that it was built to be extremely strong. And, besides, there are people whose only job is to check it's safety all the time. And, isn't it cool that someone came up with the idea to make a tunnel that goes under the water & boats can travel over? (More sensation thinking about being underneath a boat).

I drove us safely into the light and, after that, the bridges didn't phase me that much. We had a fun week in a beach house with 17 people & I decided that it was alright to take the passenger seat on the way home.

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