I hope you all are getting a chance to get caught up in the workbook and enjoying it. Chapter 3 is short and sweet with a resounding main message about struggle and avoidance.
"The most critical element that separates normal from problematic anxiety and fear is this: avoidance, avoidance and more avoidance."
Wouldn't it be great if we could just avoid a few yucky emotions and they would just go away? For some reason, avoidance does really feel toxic for the anxious brain. At this stage of the game, for me, I'm almost more afraid of avoiding something than of entering a situation and knowing I'll be anxious. My experience has taught me that even one little avoidance and the slope is feeling mighty slippery. A few years back, I was driving and had the thought, "Uh oh, I'm feeling kind of anxious today. I think I'll take the back roads instead of the highway." Wouldn't you know, the next day, it felt 10x harder to get back on the highway, even though that route had become part of my routine.
Can you relate to the poison ivy analogy? If you've never had poison ivy, consider yourself lucky! If you have, then you know it's almost impossible not to scratch at that insidious itch! Anxiety can feel alot like that. We want to float through it, drop the rope and not struggle, but the urge to fight/struggle/itch is automatic.
I'm looking forward to learning more about the attitude shift and mindfulness techniques that are soon to come. I like how the authors ask us not to be convinced that their techniques will work, but to simply have an open mind.
Although chapters to come will cover these questions, I'm wondering:
*What are you avoiding right now?
*What would you be doing differently in your life if anxiety was not an issue?
*What messages are sinking in for you from this workbook? What resonates the strongest?
*Are you ready to tackle chapters 4 & 5?
See you soon!
Monday, July 12, 2010
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Upcoming Fall Workshops
I know it's the beginning of July and crazy hot (over 100 degrees here today!), but let's look forward to two wonderful workshops available this Fall.
For those of you who live in/around the mid-west, Dave Carbonell is holding a weekend workshop for people with panic attacks. It will be held in Chicago, IL on October 23rd - 24th, 2010. For more information, check out this link. I've never met Dave, but his writing style is so appealing to me and I love his sense of humor. I think this would be well worth your time and money.
If you live close to North Carolina, Reid Wilson is also holding a weekend workshop and it's excellent. His workshop is for people with panic attacks and social anxiety. It will be held in Durham, N.C. on September 11th - 12th, 2010. Reid Wilson has more dates listed at this site.
These guys are both excellent clinicians. I attended Dr. Wilson's workshop almost two years ago and got so much out of it. What would have been even more helpful was to have a group of people working toward their goals to jump into when I got back home. Although, I think that's possible to do online. You can expect to jump right in and work on some of your fears while you're at the workshop. If you're considering attending, you can read a little about my experience here.
Stay cool and I'll check back in with a post on chapter 3 this weekend!
For those of you who live in/around the mid-west, Dave Carbonell is holding a weekend workshop for people with panic attacks. It will be held in Chicago, IL on October 23rd - 24th, 2010. For more information, check out this link. I've never met Dave, but his writing style is so appealing to me and I love his sense of humor. I think this would be well worth your time and money.
If you live close to North Carolina, Reid Wilson is also holding a weekend workshop and it's excellent. His workshop is for people with panic attacks and social anxiety. It will be held in Durham, N.C. on September 11th - 12th, 2010. Reid Wilson has more dates listed at this site.
These guys are both excellent clinicians. I attended Dr. Wilson's workshop almost two years ago and got so much out of it. What would have been even more helpful was to have a group of people working toward their goals to jump into when I got back home. Although, I think that's possible to do online. You can expect to jump right in and work on some of your fears while you're at the workshop. If you're considering attending, you can read a little about my experience here.
Stay cool and I'll check back in with a post on chapter 3 this weekend!
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Summer Reading: Intro - Chapter 2
So, did you get a chance to grab the workbook? If not, don't worry about being behind, just jump in when you can. I haven't discussed a book "book club style" online before, so I'll start by jotting down some of what stood out for me and I'd love to hear what's speaking to you or creating a strong reaction as you digest the material.
The first thing that I want to make sure we highlight is how the intro tells us "put taking care of yourself on your to-do list". I can't tell you how many times I write down in my planner "make tea & read - 30 min." and how often something else takes priority - dinner prep, email, laundry, a 3 year old who won't nap, or just plain old procrastination. I'm thinking I might need to play around with when I read. Maybe afternoon "quiet time" with three kids in the house isn't going to be where I'm successful. Like exercise, I may need to aim for first thing in the morning.
Something else important to note is taking the time to really read and work through all the exercises, not just skimming. In Dave Carbonell's workbook (another good one), I like how he recommends reading the material thoroughly and not just enough to make you more anxious. How true! How often do we dip into a book, looking for that little piece of wisdom that will make our present anxiety dissipate? As we scramble through the pages, looking at our underlined notes, anxiety can actually increase because we're struggling to make it go away (or is that just me?).
ACT begins by telling us, "If I continue to do what I've always done, then I'm going to get what I've always got." (pg. 11) That makes perfect sense, but it's a fact we rarely think about. This simple truth extends far beyond anxiety and reminds me of how Dr. Phil asks, "How's that working for you?" For our discussion, how is struggling and trying to rid yourself of anxiety working for you?
"Struggle turns out to be the most important toxic element that constricts lives and transforms anxiety from being a normal human experience into a life-shattering problem." (pg. 47)
"ACT is about letting go, showing up to life, and getting yourself moving in directions you want to go." (pg. 13)
"You'll learn how to live out your dreams. You can have that without first winning the war with your anxiety monsters." (pg. 4)
This is so inspiring to me. Since my first panic attack, the good student in me believed that if I worked hard enough and did all of my homework, I could rid myself of anxiety and panic. I thought about what I could accomplish when I was cured and anxiety free. So, I worked and struggled, and did make some big strides. But, I've also felt deep disappointment at times when I looked up and anxiety was still there, running alongside of me.
I've resisted the notion that I just need to accept my anxiety because it felt like surrendering to an anxiety filled existence. But, I think these authors are suggesting that once you're living out what's really important to you, it doesn't matter if you drag anxiety along for the ride. In fact, taking your full attention off of your anxiety can create some lift. Right now, many of us spend too much time managing and trying to cope with anxiety and this takes up precious room when there are many other areas of our lives that are so vital and important.
Going back to the book, I love the use of repetitive themes as a way to sink in the learning. It feels grounding to me and I like the way some of these phrases pop up in my head as I go through my day, anxiety in hand.
The other night, I drove my youngest home from a swim meet while my husband stayed to cheer on our older two. It had grown late and I was anxious about driving home on a major highway downtown. I was trying to talk myself out of being anxious internally (I've done this one hundred times, nothing bad ever happens, I can handle it, bring it on). Then I remembered that driving my daughter home, on whichever route I chose, and having freedom was important to me - something that I valued highly. I drove the route, allowing the wave of adrenaline to flow through me, and made it home - once again - with no problem.
Finishing up for now:
*How might the ACT philosophy help with your experience of anxiety?
*In what ways do you struggle to control your anxiety and how does that keep you stuck?
*What's so important to you that you'll risk showing up and feeling anxious?
*What's resonating for you in the reading? What's not sitting so well?
Let's read chapter 3 this week!
The first thing that I want to make sure we highlight is how the intro tells us "put taking care of yourself on your to-do list". I can't tell you how many times I write down in my planner "make tea & read - 30 min." and how often something else takes priority - dinner prep, email, laundry, a 3 year old who won't nap, or just plain old procrastination. I'm thinking I might need to play around with when I read. Maybe afternoon "quiet time" with three kids in the house isn't going to be where I'm successful. Like exercise, I may need to aim for first thing in the morning.
Something else important to note is taking the time to really read and work through all the exercises, not just skimming. In Dave Carbonell's workbook (another good one), I like how he recommends reading the material thoroughly and not just enough to make you more anxious. How true! How often do we dip into a book, looking for that little piece of wisdom that will make our present anxiety dissipate? As we scramble through the pages, looking at our underlined notes, anxiety can actually increase because we're struggling to make it go away (or is that just me?).
ACT begins by telling us, "If I continue to do what I've always done, then I'm going to get what I've always got." (pg. 11) That makes perfect sense, but it's a fact we rarely think about. This simple truth extends far beyond anxiety and reminds me of how Dr. Phil asks, "How's that working for you?" For our discussion, how is struggling and trying to rid yourself of anxiety working for you?
"Struggle turns out to be the most important toxic element that constricts lives and transforms anxiety from being a normal human experience into a life-shattering problem." (pg. 47)
"ACT is about letting go, showing up to life, and getting yourself moving in directions you want to go." (pg. 13)
"You'll learn how to live out your dreams. You can have that without first winning the war with your anxiety monsters." (pg. 4)
This is so inspiring to me. Since my first panic attack, the good student in me believed that if I worked hard enough and did all of my homework, I could rid myself of anxiety and panic. I thought about what I could accomplish when I was cured and anxiety free. So, I worked and struggled, and did make some big strides. But, I've also felt deep disappointment at times when I looked up and anxiety was still there, running alongside of me.
I've resisted the notion that I just need to accept my anxiety because it felt like surrendering to an anxiety filled existence. But, I think these authors are suggesting that once you're living out what's really important to you, it doesn't matter if you drag anxiety along for the ride. In fact, taking your full attention off of your anxiety can create some lift. Right now, many of us spend too much time managing and trying to cope with anxiety and this takes up precious room when there are many other areas of our lives that are so vital and important.
Going back to the book, I love the use of repetitive themes as a way to sink in the learning. It feels grounding to me and I like the way some of these phrases pop up in my head as I go through my day, anxiety in hand.
"drop the rope
toxic avoidance
willingness
false alarms
anxiety needs big thought, fear requires little
I can use my hands, feet, & mouth to move forward, doing what's important to me"
toxic avoidance
willingness
false alarms
anxiety needs big thought, fear requires little
I can use my hands, feet, & mouth to move forward, doing what's important to me"
The other night, I drove my youngest home from a swim meet while my husband stayed to cheer on our older two. It had grown late and I was anxious about driving home on a major highway downtown. I was trying to talk myself out of being anxious internally (I've done this one hundred times, nothing bad ever happens, I can handle it, bring it on). Then I remembered that driving my daughter home, on whichever route I chose, and having freedom was important to me - something that I valued highly. I drove the route, allowing the wave of adrenaline to flow through me, and made it home - once again - with no problem.
Finishing up for now:
*How might the ACT philosophy help with your experience of anxiety?
*In what ways do you struggle to control your anxiety and how does that keep you stuck?
*What's so important to you that you'll risk showing up and feeling anxious?
*What's resonating for you in the reading? What's not sitting so well?
Let's read chapter 3 this week!
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Summer Reading
After a little spring hiatus, I'm back with a book to add to your summer reading list. I'll be working through this fantastic little workbook throughout the summer and hope you'll join me! You can grab this book at your local library or from most book sellers. Let's aim to read the intro (very important) and first two chapters by July 1st, ok?
The Mindfulness and Acceptance Workbook for Anxiety: A Guide to Breaking Free from Anxiety, Phobia's and Worry Using Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (Forsyth and Eifert)
The Mindfulness and Acceptance Workbook for Anxiety: A Guide to Breaking Free from Anxiety, Phobia's and Worry Using Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (Forsyth and Eifert)
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
The Phobia Workshop Sketch
My Dad sent this to me and it's really cute!
However, this sketch has had me thinking about the stereotype of someone with an anxiety disorder. Most of the people I know with anxiety and panic are outgoing, empathic, bright people. They aren't actually afraid of things like driving, elevators or public speaking. Those are just the situations where they have experienced a panic attack before and conditioning has quickly set in. They're afraid that when panic shows up, it will be so intense that something catastrophic will occur like death or insanity. That's how intense these thoughts and sensations can be.
My husband once suggested that I write a post about all the things that don't create anxiety for me (or that are important enough to do anyways), so here are a few: I've given birth naturally three times - twice at home; I like to rock climb; I've run a marathon and completed a handful of triathlons (2 in open water); Riding on the back of a motorcycle is big fun to me; I like to get past small talk and really connect with people; I teach childbirth classes; I spent a year living on top of a mountain taking kids through caves, behind waterfalls and on long hikes; I can ask the hard questions and sit with other peoples pain; I've talked to my older girls about sex; I have attended about 20 births as a doula.
So, while this is really cute, it's important to remember that anxiety is just one piece of what makes you who you are. Or, as a friend says, "Anxiety is just the Side B to being a highly passionate, creative and empathic person. I wouldn't give one side up for the other."
I'd love to hear what defines you outside of your anxiety!
However, this sketch has had me thinking about the stereotype of someone with an anxiety disorder. Most of the people I know with anxiety and panic are outgoing, empathic, bright people. They aren't actually afraid of things like driving, elevators or public speaking. Those are just the situations where they have experienced a panic attack before and conditioning has quickly set in. They're afraid that when panic shows up, it will be so intense that something catastrophic will occur like death or insanity. That's how intense these thoughts and sensations can be.
My husband once suggested that I write a post about all the things that don't create anxiety for me (or that are important enough to do anyways), so here are a few: I've given birth naturally three times - twice at home; I like to rock climb; I've run a marathon and completed a handful of triathlons (2 in open water); Riding on the back of a motorcycle is big fun to me; I like to get past small talk and really connect with people; I teach childbirth classes; I spent a year living on top of a mountain taking kids through caves, behind waterfalls and on long hikes; I can ask the hard questions and sit with other peoples pain; I've talked to my older girls about sex; I have attended about 20 births as a doula.
So, while this is really cute, it's important to remember that anxiety is just one piece of what makes you who you are. Or, as a friend says, "Anxiety is just the Side B to being a highly passionate, creative and empathic person. I wouldn't give one side up for the other."
I'd love to hear what defines you outside of your anxiety!
Monday, March 29, 2010
Musings on a cure
I've been thinking about Meredith's comment from a few weeks ago. She and I have talked back and forth about that stubborn, last little bit of anxiety that doesn't want to go away and looking for a cure that doesn't seem to exist.
I'm realizing and working on growing more comfortable with the fact that I may experience more anxiety than I would like to in my lifetime. This will probably be my challenge until I'm an old lady; that there may be no cure, but there is freedom in living a big life not run by fear and avoidance. There is also freedom in accepting all of our emotional states. Later in life, Dr. Claire Weekes was asked if she still experienced anxiety and panic and she responded, 'yes, but so what!'
My deep learning continues to be the lessons of showing up, experience and compassion. Every time I dread and anticipate an event - certain that I'll go crazy and make a fool of myself - and show up anyways, I get stronger. Every time I allow myself to feel anxious and not demand that it goes away, it feels a little more manageable. And, every time I am compassionate with myself when I do go down that anxiety rabbit hole and not make it such a big deal in my head, I worry less about having this thing forever.
So, a cure for anxiety and panic? Perhaps not. But freedom is certainly available in every choice we make.
*For further reading, check out Aimee's post on recovering from social anxiety.
I'm realizing and working on growing more comfortable with the fact that I may experience more anxiety than I would like to in my lifetime. This will probably be my challenge until I'm an old lady; that there may be no cure, but there is freedom in living a big life not run by fear and avoidance. There is also freedom in accepting all of our emotional states. Later in life, Dr. Claire Weekes was asked if she still experienced anxiety and panic and she responded, 'yes, but so what!'
My deep learning continues to be the lessons of showing up, experience and compassion. Every time I dread and anticipate an event - certain that I'll go crazy and make a fool of myself - and show up anyways, I get stronger. Every time I allow myself to feel anxious and not demand that it goes away, it feels a little more manageable. And, every time I am compassionate with myself when I do go down that anxiety rabbit hole and not make it such a big deal in my head, I worry less about having this thing forever.
So, a cure for anxiety and panic? Perhaps not. But freedom is certainly available in every choice we make.
*For further reading, check out Aimee's post on recovering from social anxiety.
Friday, March 12, 2010
Murals exhibit
Have you seen Brian Rea's new art exhibit called Murals? I don't think I knew there were so many different types of fears in the world! Rea has been writing down his own fears, and those of people around him, for the past 11 years. In this work of art, he's organized the more interesting ones into six categories: Physical, natural, supernatural, emotional, political, and random. It's quite a visual display and I love he's channeled fear into creativity - check it out!
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